Half a year.
It’s tripy how time flows sometimes. I really didn’t realize it had been six months since my month long lifetime at IVLI until someone brought it up.
Six months ago I was preparing for my last year of college. Six months ago I was both excited yet terrified about the future of my team, chapter, and fellowship. Six months ago, I was still hiding emotional scars that I was too afraid to even let people, except for a select few, be aware of.
And yet…somehow I still had so much hope and love and desire to see God work not only in my life but the life of those on campus. I won’t share my entire letter, because there are parts that are a little too personal and/or also involve others but I will share some:
“Even though it sucks, God is calling you to racial reconciliation at least for InterVarsity. It will definitely be frustrating…but it’s worth it because Jesus cares. Though you may feel like you’re at this alone, you’re not. Jesus is with you. Remember that you are not called to do this for your own glory but because Jesus calls us to go to the broken and hurting places in our world. You may be done with it but God isn’t done with it or with you. Remember that God’s creations are beautiful…Remember that you are loved by the Living God, the King of Kings, your beloved Daddy in Heaven…[Zozo] you are beautiful and created with a purpose. You have God given gifts and talents just as everyone else. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else…I hope that you will have found peace in the Lord by now. I hope your faith and relationships with God has gotten stronger…” – Past Zozo
Did I write that?
But seriously, this letter, written from myself to myself was greatly needed and appreciated. If you know me, it’s really hard for me to take words of affirmation well and sometimes I wonder if I would make my past self, at whatever stage of my life proud. However, I can say that Past Zozo is probably proud of the hard but worth it steps that Present Zozo has taken in the past 6 months. I wonder where I will be at in another 6 months. Maybe I should write a letter to myself for then…
I guess I’ll end this post with a Psalm that Past Zozo told me to read:
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
– Psalm 121