Earlier that day, before the results came, I was unhappy with myself for not thinking ahead and buying a “I’m with her” or “Nasty Women Vote” t-shirt. There was no doubt that things wouldn’t go our way. That she wouldn’t win. There was no fear that my position in this country as a black woman would be shifted any more negatively than it already was.
I wasn’t naive. I didn’t think that by standing with her that all my problems would be solved. They made sure to beat, shoot, and strangle that out of me when they failed to recognize the man who said “Yes, we can”. I wasn’t naive but I was still hopeful…
I was worried about what I was going to wear. That’s who I was.
I’m still worried about what I’m going to wear. That’s who I am.
Things have suddenly changed so drastically and yet, remained the same…
I still wake up early. I still go through a nearly two hour commute to get to class. I still hang out with and love my family and friends.
I am still me.
I am still the me that worries about my black and brown friends and whether or not I will see them the next day. I am still the me that cries for the hate and utter bigotry shown towards those in the LGBT+ community. I am still the me that is always aware of how much harder I have to work to be given even a passing glance as a woman and as an African-American in this country. I am still the me that wonders how the country that has been known as the world’s “melting pot” can decide that it no longer wants to melt and blend but instead it wants to purge until all that is left is murky and tasteless.
This is still me. This has always been me, fighting the fears that hold down my soul, that take away life and love and joy…
We cannot give into our fears, friends. Yes, we should mourn. Yes, take a step back and go through your process of self-care. But remember, you have the God given right to cry, to scream until your throat bleeds raw but please remember to never fear. To not be shushed for speaking too loudly. Too boldly. Too freely. Too honestly. To remember that love trumps hate!
“Never doubt that you are valuable and powerful and deserving of every chance and opportunity in the world to pursue and achieve your own dreams” ~ Hillary Clinton
And for those of you who do not understand, who do not grieve, who may think we’re over reacting, show some compassion nonetheless. We are human. We are fallible. Just as you are. Just because you do not resonate with our pain does not discredit it or us any less.
Remember, friends, “History has its eyes on you…”